Monday, 27 May 2013

A children's guide to dealing with Heart-hurt.

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Potentially the most traumatic thing about a break up is the plethora of clichés that are thrown at you by your nearest and dearest. It occurred to me while I was sitting in a tree looking out over the city and silently crying (not even shitting you, I’m that poetic) that heartbreak can make you feel childishly vulnerable and out of control. As a kid I was always too afraid to climb trees, but that activity has been associated with youth for so long, that it got me thinking about other things children do which help with heart-hurt.

Thus was born ‘A children’s guide to dealing with heart-hurt,’ a list of ideas of ways to process losing someone dear to you through children’s activities.

1.     Climb a tree and be awed by the view.
This one is especially easy for Wellington kids, just five minutes from uni, or up to twenty minutes from your home, you can be in a high up green place looking out over the city. Doing this made me feel very very small, and instilled me with a strange sense of peace. If you’re near Tanera Park, walk to the corner of the playing field there, there’s a small circle of grass and you can look out over the whole valley. If you’re in a relationship and reading this it’s also a sweet place to romance your special someone. Same goes for the Trippy tree by the cable car in the Botanic gardens, it’s a great place to watch the sun set alone or with someone you love.

2.     Sketch with pencils.
Only today while digging through a draw of letters and stationary crap to try and hide my ex-boyfriends notes from myself did I come across a very dusty set of pencils. Just the feeling of pencils or crayons being dragged across drawing paper is satisfying. It makes a slight noise, you’re making something, and if it happens to be good you have something to feel proud of and put up on your wall, or the fridge, or to wave in front of the nose of the next flat mate to come home.

3.     Sing along time. Also dancing.
Okay so maybe the adult equivalent is drunk Karaoke on a girl’s night out, followed by getting up on one of the speakers at Hope Bros and yelling the words to Can’t Touch This, but the release has a similar effect. Kids at birthday parties playing musical statues don’t care about making eyes at cute strangers or about moving in the right ways; hell they’re pretty much just jumping and shaking. So jump and shake. It’s also surprisingly exhausting, which can aid with that sleep you’ve been having trouble achieving.

4.     Talk to your imaginary friends.
In a break up you rarely get to say everything you wish you could to the other person, whether it’s telling them that you really love them, or that they can go suck a lemon and you think they’re real gross anyway. Yelling at your exes, although therapeutic, is a one-way ticket to irreconcilable and the awkward glance and avoid at parties. This is where talking to empty space about how you’re feeling can come in handy. When I do this it often takes the form of yelping unrecognizable jibberish into an empty bedroom while crying, but if you can do it in a calm way, all the better! If you have real friends, I guess they can be of use here, but sometimes it feels like everyone’s tired of hearing about your shit or like no-one cares, which is where Wilma and Patrick step in. (You can name imaginary friends whatever you want! It’s like magic! Or being an expectant mother!)

5.     Go to bed at seven.
As frustrating as it is to do as your mother says, a good nights sleep really does make a world of difference. Even if it’s going to bed at seven and not sleeping for four hours, you’ll still be getting your minimum six, or more like your recommended eight, hours of sleep. Although research suggests you can in fact have too much sleep, that sounds like a bunch of quaffle to me, and getting out of bed in the morning is far easier when you’re well rested.

6.     Make a meal, and serve it in the shape of a smiley face.
Food is incredibly important for your well-being, and I’m not preaching a balanced diet here, I’m thinking comfort food. Your childhood favourites might match your cravings somewhere deep deep inside. There’s no shame in eating baked beans on toast for three days straight and spending ten whole dollars on nik nak’s pick n mix is there? (Seeking reassurance and support at this point people). Making it into a smiley face is just something fun and easy to brighten your evening. Again, show this skill of to flat mates, they’ll be so jealous of your yummy edible art!

7.     Write bad poetry and/or poorly rhyming songs.
Just because you creativity doesn’t have award-winning results, doesn’t mean it isn’t useful. Revert back to a frame of mind where rhyming ‘night’ with ‘knight’ was an achievement, and scribble some poetic nonsense about how heartbroken you are. If you’re a bit musical then put it to a rhythm, don an overemphasized English accent and Huzzah! You’re practically Kate Nash!
Note - Reading other people’s good poetry can also be useful at this point, as this can be incredibly cathartic, I’d recommend Neruda for passionate reminiscing and Keats for pretty reflecting.

8.     Act out.
Hell, throw a fucking tantrum once in a while. Be childish. Smash a cup, scream into a pillow, stamp your feet. Very little you do (within reason) will have repercussions, and you’ll find it surprisingly tiring to express rage with your whole body and voice. Before too long you’ll be ready for a nice nap, and as long as no one else is home, you won’t have disturbed or inconvenienced anyone. (Note – Make sure you only damage you’re own stuff, you don’t need to feel guilty as well as upset right now. Also don’t smash cups if you’re short on them, just come round to my flat; we legitimately have too many to fit in our cupboards.)

9.     Run home to mamma and papa.
Go to www.grabaseat.co.nz and book the next flight home. Dealing with serious change is always hard, and having someone there to do your laundry and feed you can be the difference between going crazy and managing things. Another layer to this tactic is the sneaky ninja run home to mamma and papa, because if no-one knows you’re at home then you don’t have to deal with anyone bothering you. Friends are incredibly important, but sometimes you just need to not have to be cheerful and charismatic around people for a while, you’re parents dealt with you as a teen so any vocal interaction is probably something they welcome, but some of your friend’s might only know the smiley outgoing you, and right now you should have a little time to be bloody miserable if you so choose.

10. Have a good cry to your mummy.
Big sister/brother also works in this context. Call someone who has known you longer than you’ve had cognitive recognition of your own identity, and tell them how shit you’re feeling. A particularly memorable piece of wisdom that my mother gently spoke to me while I finished up the worst panic attack I’ve ever had seems relevant at this point: ‘It is very late at night and the world has gone to sleep, and there is nothing you have to worry about.’ So when it gets to that hour of the morning you hoped you’d never see, and it feels like everyone who cares about you has forgotten you in their peaceful dreams, just remember, in the cosmic scale of things, nothing you do really affects anyone, the people who care will support you and, if necessary, forgive you, and the one’s who don’t care, still won’t care. It’s as simple as that.

In summary, grow the fuck down and act like a kid until you feel ready to face the adult world again. It is very late at night, the world has gone to sleep, and there is nothing you have to worry about. There is nothing you have to do. Sleep tight, tomorrow will be better, and it’ll all make sense when you’re a little older.

Saturday, 25 May 2013

Architecture's influence on the city, esp. Christchurch

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Does architecture and design really make that much difference to our happiness, our identity or our ideals?

The beauty of architecture can be uplifting to even the most practical people. One walk through Paris and the height and consistency of the buildings will fill you with a sense of continuity and protection, while their beauty and craftsmanship awes. People travel the world to find ruins, monasteries, or skyscrapers that they admire. The practical purposes of architectural intelligence are far harder to convince people of. 

But architecture can make a huge difference in ways that we never realize, even in vital ways such as influencing crime rates. The Yale Law Journal suggests that the high crime rates of inner cities are related to the physical environment rather than the conventional explanations (poverty, unemployment, poor schools, and the like). Researchers from the paper establish four architectural concepts that can used to decrease crime using architecture; increasing an area’s natural surveillance (its visibility and susceptibility to monitoring by private citizens), introducing territoriality (by demarcating private and semiprivate spaces), reducing social isolation, and protecting potential targets. In this way Architecture can have a very real and tangible impact on our lives, helping us feel less vulnerable alone in the city. 
 
The rebuild efforts in Christchurch provide architects and designers making buildings and public places with an opportunity to design a smart city, which actively prevents crime, and all through creativity! The Press explains that these design professionals ‘don't normally prevent crime. But there’s a growing movement afoot to make architects do just that, and if this movement gets legs, Christchurch could become a global leader in crime-fighting architecture.’ I’m not sure what the movement getting legs entails, but to extend the metaphor, if Christchurch can take this international research in it’s stride, we could see ourselves racing to the forefront of Architectural crime prevention and jumping feet first into a swimming pool of dreams and happiness. 

Post Earthquake, I attended the TEDx Christchurch conference as part of YouthVision2050, and heard countless talks about the different approaches to redevelopment a city can take after a disaster. GapFiller, the I am project, and many architectural experts made their pitches, and showed how influential architecture is to the running of a city and to residents’ lifestyles. One talk that has stuck with me was Majora Carter’s ‘Greening the Ghetto,’ shown on video. (Watch online at http://www.ted.com/talks/majora_carter_s_tale_of_urban_renewal.html) In an Article for The Root Carter describes setting up projects to stabilize the riverbank and estuary areas of the Bronx River, urban forestry and green-roof installation. The area that Carter focused on had one of the lowest parks to people ratios in the entirety of New York. She instigated the development of the first riverside Park development that the South Bronx had seen in 60 years. Citing Bogotá, Columbia, Carter also describes how an increase in pedestrian areas and footpaths led to greater foot-traffic, provoking a drop in crime rates and even a decrease in littering, reinforcing the influence a city’s design can have on crime. 

The conference was full of ideas for a pedestrian only city, increased bike lanes, more parks and open areas, youth centres, concert halls, high-rise high-population density city dwellings, fresh fruit markets and green roof vege gardens, even a redistribution of the suburb structure. There were calls for greater environmental sensitivity, greater representation of Maori culture within the city, and more efficient transport options. It’s an exciting time to be an architect in Christchurch, and I only hope that the city we gain will be distinct and successful in half of the ways suggested. 

Architecture can influence life on a far smaller scale than that of a city’s design, and with bewildering subtlety. Ann Jarmusch, in an article for ‘Architecture Critic,’ points out that studies have shown that students achieved higher test scores in classrooms with increased natural light, and that, according to research done in London, unfashionable "hospital green" walls did help speed the healing process. I’m more inclined to believe that it’s the pudding cups or watching three seasons of Friends in as many days. My big brother would probably claim that it’s having the ability to urinate without getting out of bed #catheterscanbehandy. In San Diego, hospital patients, their families and medical staff reported positive effects from exposure to uplifting art and healing gardens. It is incredible that environmental psychology can actually aid physical recovery.

Even in your day-to-day life design is creating specific habits for you. You’ll never enjoy a leisurely meal in a fast food restaurant because the hard plastic chairs keep you moving, encouraging fast turnover, elevator floor numbers and seat numbers on aeroplanes are all placed at or above eye level to help us avoid eye contact with others and thus feel less crowded in these potential claustrophobic environments. Environmental psychology reveals that architects influence, in subtle ways, the paths by which we live and think.

In summary, never underestimate the power of architecture, or the difference that you can make to your city. Architecture because it could save you from being shanked, aid a speedy medical recovery, or simply cheer you up on a cold shitty day, when you can wrap yourself up safe and feel entirely at home. The difference that you can make to your city, because it may be the case that you have to jump through hoops to gain funding or publicity for your initiatives, but if Carter has taught us anything it’s that individuals, especially those who live and breath their local environment, can fix the things they see to be lacking in their neck of the woods. If you’re interested in Christchurch’s development, go to http://www.futurechristchurch.co.nz/, and if you’re interested in anything else at all, type it into the search bar at http://ted.com/. And finally, if you’re studying architecture, best of luck, do something amazing with it.


Creating a space you belong in

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As you enter the room, you are presented with a grotto. Fairy lights cast shadows across the various band posters and frozen smiles captured in photographs cover the walls. It would appear a full suitcase decided to take it’s own life here some days ago, spattering it’s contents across every surface. A stack of papers followed suit shortly after. Half-drunk cups of tea and a hint of incense create a strange sweet aroma. This is my home, my personality embodied in a two by four meter room.

Although we sentimentalize our childhood environments, as adults many question the significance of having a space to call our own, or the wider importance of architecture. Skepticism of interior design is common; what really is the significance of curtain colour or sofa size? It doesn’t help that there are hugely negative connotations attached with valuing appearances and aesthetic, because we associate these qualities with vanity and superficiality. Personally, an increasing fear that I will adopt an entirely materialist paradigm drives me to spend my money on experiences rather than objects, but I still struggle to cleanse my environment of impractical sentimental hindrances and find myself going into credit card debt for the sake of Liz Willoughby-Martin prints.

Ancient Greek Philosopher Epictetus asks; ‘If you really understand what governs the universe, how can you yearn for bits of stone and pretty rock?’ It seems an inappropriate subject to broach with his distraught best friend, whose house has just burnt down, but the question holds value all the same. To survive all you really need is warmth, food, sunlight, and a comfortable enough pile of leaves to get your recommended eight hours a night. Countless religious figures have cleansed themselves of distractions and possessions in order to achieve some higher appreciation of life. So why do we hold onto so much crap? If peace is found in simplicity, why I do sleep better after a cup of tea and an episode of Friends in a room lit by candles?

Maybe this desirable sense of peace is found through a practical employment of space, rather than a personal. One of my greatest frustrations is beautiful but impractical furniture. Easily-jammed draws and a bora-ridden rack fail to contain my clothing, my desk is too small and I only have one bloody power socket. How am I ever to charge my laptop, phone, ipod, and kindle while listening to my record player and radio simultaneously?! These small inconveniences make my life a little trickier than they could be, but I don’t think that that’s why I dislike them. I think I dislike them because the excess clothes strewn around the room and the visible power chords make my personal space feel chaotic when it should act as a refuge, a place of peace.

Perhaps we should simply rejoice in the fact that happy coincidences reconcile the practical with the beautiful sometimes. The house has windows to let in light, but also to allow us to look out over the valley while we eat our breakfast. The ceilings have lighting fixtures to hold light bulbs, but these also present a wonderful opportunity for a tasseled lampshade, or somewhere to hang streamers on someone’s birthday. The doors help muffle the sounds of flat mates making 3am toasties, but also provide a sense of undisturbed serenity and privacy. The locks on those doors keep out thieves, but more often are employed to simply allow us to choose to spend time alone when we need it.

So how do we create a space we love being in within the confines of a student flat environment? Ninth wave online, in their article ‘Life, Space and the Energy of your Mind,’ (not even kidding,) recommend four steps for creating the space you want to reflect who you are; 
1) Live with what you love, 
2) Make sure everything around you is safe and comfortable, 
3) Express yourself creatively and 
4) Organize everything, 
which translates into keeping your space clear, safe, clean, comfortable, and personal, all of which I can get behind. If you’re looking for a one step solution, just head down to Japan city, get some lanterns and some plywood animals, which you can express your creativity by assembling, but will also brighten up your space! #craftnight

What your room says about you to others is of course also a concern, we’ve all had our parents accidentally see the nude calendar in the lounge, or had to laugh off a stack of cups by the bed. To counter this issue I return to the words of misc. Health teacher circa 2009, ‘If someone doesn’t like you for who you are then they might not be someone you want to have sex with anyway,’ so you probably needn’t worry about what other people think of your bedroom, you’re the one who has to spend time in it, and even then you might be mostly unconscious.

Having a personal space that we feel we belong in is a lot more important than a logical critique would suggest therefore, and is relatively easy to achieve. I will adamantly rejoice in my messy bedroom, and I will love the things that seem silly to hold on to. I would ask you to review your space, and how you use it, and endeavor to create a place where you feel entirely yourself, and not the person your parents or employer or partner want you to be. This reads as an awfully philosophical way to justify how rarely I tidy my room, but seriously, pin ticket stubs to your walls, hang posters and photos and dream catchers, keep your teddy bears and childhood books and postcards, because your room reflects who you are, and, as the environmental equivalent of a vacant facial expression, there is nothing more dull than an empty space.