Wednesday, 29 May 2013
Monday, 27 May 2013
A children's guide to dealing with Heart-hurt.
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Potentially the most traumatic thing about
a break up is the plethora of clichés that are thrown at you by your nearest
and dearest. It occurred to me while I was sitting in a tree looking out over
the city and silently crying (not even shitting you, I’m that poetic) that
heartbreak can make you feel childishly vulnerable and out of control. As a kid
I was always too afraid to climb trees, but that activity has been associated
with youth for so long, that it got me thinking about other things children do
which help with heart-hurt.
Thus was born ‘A children’s guide to
dealing with heart-hurt,’ a list of ideas of ways to process losing someone
dear to you through children’s activities.
1.
Climb a tree and be awed by the
view.
This one is especially
easy for Wellington kids, just five minutes from uni, or up to twenty minutes
from your home, you can be in a high up green place looking out over the city.
Doing this made me feel very very small, and instilled me with a strange sense
of peace. If you’re near Tanera Park, walk to the corner of the playing field
there, there’s a small circle of grass and you can look out over the whole
valley. If you’re in a relationship and reading this it’s also a sweet place to
romance your special someone. Same goes for the Trippy tree by the cable car in
the Botanic gardens, it’s a great place to watch the sun set alone or with
someone you love.
2.
Sketch with pencils.
Only today while digging
through a draw of letters and stationary crap to try and hide my ex-boyfriends
notes from myself did I come across a very dusty set of pencils. Just the
feeling of pencils or crayons being dragged across drawing paper is satisfying.
It makes a slight noise, you’re making something, and if it happens to be good
you have something to feel proud of and put up on your wall, or the fridge, or to
wave in front of the nose of the next flat mate to come home.
3.
Sing along time. Also dancing.
Okay so maybe the adult
equivalent is drunk Karaoke on a girl’s night out, followed by getting up on one
of the speakers at Hope Bros and yelling the words to Can’t Touch This, but the
release has a similar effect. Kids at birthday parties playing musical statues
don’t care about making eyes at cute strangers or about moving in the right ways;
hell they’re pretty much just jumping and shaking. So jump and shake. It’s also
surprisingly exhausting, which can aid with that sleep you’ve been having
trouble achieving.
4.
Talk to your imaginary friends.
In a break up you rarely
get to say everything you wish you could to the other person, whether it’s
telling them that you really love them, or that they can go suck a lemon and
you think they’re real gross anyway. Yelling at your exes, although
therapeutic, is a one-way ticket to irreconcilable and the awkward glance and
avoid at parties. This is where talking to empty space about how you’re feeling
can come in handy. When I do this it often takes the form of yelping
unrecognizable jibberish into an empty bedroom while crying, but if you can do
it in a calm way, all the better! If you have real friends, I guess they can be
of use here, but sometimes it feels like everyone’s tired of hearing about your
shit or like no-one cares, which is where Wilma and Patrick step in. (You can
name imaginary friends whatever you want! It’s like magic! Or being an
expectant mother!)
5.
Go to bed at seven.
As frustrating as it is to
do as your mother says, a good nights sleep really does make a world of
difference. Even if it’s going to bed at seven and not sleeping for four hours,
you’ll still be getting your minimum six, or more like your recommended eight,
hours of sleep. Although research suggests you can in fact have too much sleep,
that sounds like a bunch of quaffle to me, and getting out of bed in the morning
is far easier when you’re well rested.
6.
Make a meal, and serve it in
the shape of a smiley face.
Food is incredibly important
for your well-being, and I’m not preaching a balanced diet here, I’m thinking
comfort food. Your childhood favourites might match your cravings somewhere
deep deep inside. There’s no shame in eating baked beans on toast for three
days straight and spending ten whole dollars on nik nak’s pick n mix is there?
(Seeking reassurance and support at this point people). Making it into a smiley
face is just something fun and easy to brighten your evening. Again, show this
skill of to flat mates, they’ll be so jealous of your yummy edible art!
7.
Write bad poetry and/or poorly
rhyming songs.
Just because you
creativity doesn’t have award-winning results, doesn’t mean it isn’t useful. Revert
back to a frame of mind where rhyming ‘night’ with ‘knight’ was an achievement,
and scribble some poetic nonsense about how heartbroken you are. If you’re a
bit musical then put it to a rhythm, don an overemphasized English accent and Huzzah!
You’re practically Kate Nash!
Note - Reading other
people’s good poetry can also be useful at this point, as this can be
incredibly cathartic, I’d recommend Neruda for passionate reminiscing and Keats
for pretty reflecting.
8.
Act out.
Hell, throw a fucking
tantrum once in a while. Be childish. Smash a cup, scream into a pillow, stamp
your feet. Very little you do (within reason) will have repercussions, and
you’ll find it surprisingly tiring to express rage with your whole body and
voice. Before too long you’ll be ready for a nice nap, and as long as no one
else is home, you won’t have disturbed or inconvenienced anyone. (Note – Make
sure you only damage you’re own stuff, you don’t need to feel guilty as well as
upset right now. Also don’t smash cups if you’re short on them, just come round
to my flat; we legitimately have too many to fit in our cupboards.)
9.
Run home to mamma and papa.
Go to www.grabaseat.co.nz and book the next
flight home. Dealing with serious change is always hard, and having someone
there to do your laundry and feed you can be the difference between going crazy
and managing things. Another layer to this tactic is the sneaky ninja run home
to mamma and papa, because if no-one knows you’re at home then you don’t have
to deal with anyone bothering you. Friends are incredibly important, but
sometimes you just need to not have to be cheerful and charismatic around
people for a while, you’re parents dealt with you as a teen so any vocal interaction
is probably something they welcome, but some of your friend’s might only know
the smiley outgoing you, and right now you should have a little time to be
bloody miserable if you so choose.
10. Have a good cry to your mummy.
Big sister/brother also
works in this context. Call someone who has known you longer than you’ve had
cognitive recognition of your own identity, and tell them how shit you’re
feeling. A particularly memorable piece of wisdom that my mother gently spoke
to me while I finished up the worst panic attack I’ve ever had seems relevant
at this point: ‘It is very late at night and the world has gone to sleep, and
there is nothing you have to worry about.’ So when it gets to that hour of the
morning you hoped you’d never see, and it feels like everyone who cares about
you has forgotten you in their peaceful dreams, just remember, in the cosmic
scale of things, nothing you do really affects anyone, the people who care will
support you and, if necessary, forgive you, and the one’s who don’t care, still
won’t care. It’s as simple as that.
In summary, grow the fuck down and act like
a kid until you feel ready to face the adult world again. It is very late at
night, the world has gone to sleep, and there is nothing you have to worry
about. There is nothing you have to do. Sleep tight, tomorrow will be better, and
it’ll all make sense when you’re a little older.
Saturday, 25 May 2013
Architecture's influence on the city, esp. Christchurch
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The
rebuild efforts in Christchurch provide architects
and designers making buildings and public places with an opportunity to design
a smart city, which actively prevents crime, and all through creativity! The
Press explains that these design professionals ‘don't normally prevent crime.
But there’s a growing movement afoot to make architects do just that, and if
this movement gets legs, Christchurch could become a global leader in
crime-fighting architecture.’ I’m not sure what the movement getting legs
entails, but to extend the metaphor, if Christchurch can take this
international research in it’s stride, we could see ourselves racing to the
forefront of Architectural crime prevention and jumping feet first into a
swimming pool of dreams and happiness.
Post Earthquake, I attended the TEDx Christchurch conference as part of YouthVision2050, and heard countless talks about the different approaches to redevelopment a city can take after a disaster. GapFiller, the I am project, and many architectural experts made their pitches, and showed how influential architecture is to the running of a city and to residents’ lifestyles. One talk that has stuck with me was Majora Carter’s ‘Greening the Ghetto,’ shown on video. (Watch online at http://www.ted.com/talks/majora_carter_s_tale_of_urban_renewal.html) In an Article for The Root Carter describes setting up projects to stabilize the riverbank and estuary areas of the Bronx River, urban forestry and green-roof installation. The area that Carter focused on had one of the lowest parks to people ratios in the entirety of New York. She instigated the development of the first riverside Park development that the South Bronx had seen in 60 years. Citing Bogotá, Columbia, Carter also describes how an increase in pedestrian areas and footpaths led to greater foot-traffic, provoking a drop in crime rates and even a decrease in littering, reinforcing the influence a city’s design can have on crime.
The conference was full of ideas for a pedestrian only city, increased bike lanes, more parks and open areas, youth centres, concert halls, high-rise high-population density city dwellings, fresh fruit markets and green roof vege gardens, even a redistribution of the suburb structure. There were calls for greater environmental sensitivity, greater representation of Maori culture within the city, and more efficient transport options. It’s an exciting time to be an architect in Christchurch, and I only hope that the city we gain will be distinct and successful in half of the ways suggested.
Architecture can influence life on a far smaller scale than that of a city’s design, and with bewildering subtlety. Ann Jarmusch, in an article for ‘Architecture Critic,’ points out that studies have shown that students achieved higher test scores in classrooms with increased natural light, and that, according to research done in London, unfashionable "hospital green" walls did help speed the healing process. I’m more inclined to believe that it’s the pudding cups or watching three seasons of Friends in as many days. My big brother would probably claim that it’s having the ability to urinate without getting out of bed #catheterscanbehandy. In San Diego, hospital patients, their families and medical staff reported positive effects from exposure to uplifting art and healing gardens. It is incredible that environmental psychology can actually aid physical recovery.
Does architecture
and design really make that much difference to our happiness, our identity or
our ideals?
The beauty of
architecture can be uplifting to even the most practical people. One walk
through Paris and the height and consistency of the buildings will fill you
with a sense of continuity and protection, while their beauty and craftsmanship
awes. People travel the world to find ruins, monasteries, or skyscrapers that
they admire. The practical purposes of architectural intelligence are far harder
to convince people of.
But
architecture can make a huge difference in ways that we never realize, even in
vital ways such as influencing crime rates. The Yale Law Journal suggests that the
high crime rates of inner cities are related to the physical environment rather
than the conventional explanations (poverty, unemployment, poor schools, and
the like). Researchers from the paper establish four architectural concepts
that can used to decrease crime using architecture; increasing an area’s
natural surveillance (its visibility and susceptibility to monitoring by
private citizens), introducing territoriality (by demarcating private and semiprivate
spaces), reducing social isolation, and protecting potential targets. In this
way Architecture can have a very real and tangible impact on our lives, helping
us feel less vulnerable alone in the city.
Post Earthquake, I attended the TEDx Christchurch conference as part of YouthVision2050, and heard countless talks about the different approaches to redevelopment a city can take after a disaster. GapFiller, the I am project, and many architectural experts made their pitches, and showed how influential architecture is to the running of a city and to residents’ lifestyles. One talk that has stuck with me was Majora Carter’s ‘Greening the Ghetto,’ shown on video. (Watch online at http://www.ted.com/talks/majora_carter_s_tale_of_urban_renewal.html) In an Article for The Root Carter describes setting up projects to stabilize the riverbank and estuary areas of the Bronx River, urban forestry and green-roof installation. The area that Carter focused on had one of the lowest parks to people ratios in the entirety of New York. She instigated the development of the first riverside Park development that the South Bronx had seen in 60 years. Citing Bogotá, Columbia, Carter also describes how an increase in pedestrian areas and footpaths led to greater foot-traffic, provoking a drop in crime rates and even a decrease in littering, reinforcing the influence a city’s design can have on crime.
The conference was full of ideas for a pedestrian only city, increased bike lanes, more parks and open areas, youth centres, concert halls, high-rise high-population density city dwellings, fresh fruit markets and green roof vege gardens, even a redistribution of the suburb structure. There were calls for greater environmental sensitivity, greater representation of Maori culture within the city, and more efficient transport options. It’s an exciting time to be an architect in Christchurch, and I only hope that the city we gain will be distinct and successful in half of the ways suggested.
Architecture can influence life on a far smaller scale than that of a city’s design, and with bewildering subtlety. Ann Jarmusch, in an article for ‘Architecture Critic,’ points out that studies have shown that students achieved higher test scores in classrooms with increased natural light, and that, according to research done in London, unfashionable "hospital green" walls did help speed the healing process. I’m more inclined to believe that it’s the pudding cups or watching three seasons of Friends in as many days. My big brother would probably claim that it’s having the ability to urinate without getting out of bed #catheterscanbehandy. In San Diego, hospital patients, their families and medical staff reported positive effects from exposure to uplifting art and healing gardens. It is incredible that environmental psychology can actually aid physical recovery.
Even in your
day-to-day life design is creating specific habits for you. You’ll never enjoy
a leisurely meal in a fast food restaurant because the hard plastic chairs keep
you moving, encouraging fast turnover, elevator floor numbers and seat numbers
on aeroplanes are all placed at or above eye level to help us avoid eye contact
with others and thus feel less crowded in these potential claustrophobic
environments. Environmental psychology reveals that architects influence, in
subtle ways, the paths by which we live and think.
In summary, never
underestimate the power of architecture, or the difference that you can make to
your city. Architecture because it could save you from being shanked, aid a
speedy medical recovery, or simply cheer you up on a cold shitty day, when you
can wrap yourself up safe and feel entirely at home. The difference that you can
make to your city, because it may be the case that you have to jump through
hoops to gain funding or publicity for your initiatives, but if Carter has
taught us anything it’s that individuals, especially those who live and breath
their local environment, can fix the things they see to be lacking in their
neck of the woods. If you’re interested in Christchurch’s development, go to http://www.futurechristchurch.co.nz/,
and if you’re interested in anything else at all, type it into the search bar
at http://ted.com/.
And finally, if you’re studying architecture, best of luck, do something
amazing with it.
Creating a space you belong in
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As you enter the
room, you are presented with a grotto. Fairy lights cast shadows across the
various band posters and frozen smiles captured in photographs cover the walls.
It would appear a full suitcase decided to take it’s own life here some days ago,
spattering it’s contents across every surface. A stack of papers followed suit
shortly after. Half-drunk cups of tea and a hint of incense create a strange
sweet aroma. This is my home, my personality embodied in a two by four meter
room.
Although we
sentimentalize our childhood environments, as adults many question the
significance of having a space to call our own, or the wider importance of
architecture. Skepticism of interior design is common; what really is the
significance of curtain colour or sofa size? It doesn’t help that there are
hugely negative connotations attached with valuing appearances and aesthetic,
because we associate these qualities with vanity and superficiality.
Personally, an increasing fear that I will adopt an entirely materialist
paradigm drives me to spend my money on experiences rather than objects, but I
still struggle to cleanse my environment of impractical sentimental hindrances
and find myself going into credit card debt for the sake of Liz Willoughby-Martin
prints.
Ancient Greek
Philosopher Epictetus asks; ‘If you really understand what governs the
universe, how can you yearn for bits of stone and pretty rock?’ It seems an
inappropriate subject to broach with his distraught best friend, whose house
has just burnt down, but the question holds value all the same. To survive all
you really need is warmth, food, sunlight, and a comfortable enough pile of
leaves to get your recommended eight hours a night. Countless religious figures
have cleansed themselves of distractions and possessions in order to achieve
some higher appreciation of life. So why do we hold onto so much crap? If peace
is found in simplicity, why I do sleep better after a cup of tea and an episode
of Friends in a room lit by candles?
Maybe this
desirable sense of peace is found through a practical employment of space,
rather than a personal. One of my greatest frustrations is beautiful but
impractical furniture. Easily-jammed draws and a bora-ridden rack fail to
contain my clothing, my desk is too small and I only have one bloody power
socket. How am I ever to charge my laptop, phone, ipod, and kindle while
listening to my record player and radio simultaneously?! These small
inconveniences make my life a little trickier than they could be, but I don’t
think that that’s why I dislike them. I think I dislike them because the excess
clothes strewn around the room and the visible power chords make my personal
space feel chaotic when it should act as a refuge, a place of peace.
Perhaps we should
simply rejoice in the fact that happy coincidences reconcile the practical with
the beautiful sometimes. The house has windows to let in light, but also to
allow us to look out over the valley while we eat our breakfast. The ceilings
have lighting fixtures to hold light bulbs, but these also present a wonderful
opportunity for a tasseled lampshade, or somewhere to hang streamers on
someone’s birthday. The doors help muffle the sounds of flat mates making 3am
toasties, but also provide a sense of undisturbed serenity and privacy. The
locks on those doors keep out thieves, but more often are employed to simply
allow us to choose to spend time alone when we need it.
So how do we
create a space we love being in within the confines of a student flat
environment? Ninth wave online, in their article ‘Life, Space and the Energy of
your Mind,’ (not even kidding,) recommend four steps for creating the space you
want to reflect who you are;
1) Live with what you love,
2) Make sure
everything around you is safe and comfortable,
3) Express yourself creatively
and
4) Organize everything,
which translates into keeping your space clear,
safe, clean, comfortable, and personal, all of which I can get behind. If
you’re looking for a one step solution, just head down to Japan city, get some
lanterns and some plywood animals, which you can express your creativity by
assembling, but will also brighten up your space! #craftnight
What your room
says about you to others is of course also a concern, we’ve all had our parents
accidentally see the nude calendar in the lounge, or had to laugh off a stack
of cups by the bed. To counter this issue I return to the words of misc. Health
teacher circa 2009, ‘If someone doesn’t like you for who you are then they
might not be someone you want to have sex with anyway,’ so you probably needn’t
worry about what other people think of your bedroom, you’re the one who has to
spend time in it, and even then you might be mostly unconscious.
Having a personal space
that we feel we belong in is a lot more important than a logical critique would
suggest therefore, and is relatively easy to achieve. I will adamantly rejoice
in my messy bedroom, and I will love the things that seem silly to hold on to.
I would ask you to review your space, and how you use it, and endeavor to
create a place where you feel entirely yourself, and not the person your
parents or employer or partner want you to be. This reads as an awfully
philosophical way to justify how rarely I tidy my room, but seriously, pin
ticket stubs to your walls, hang posters and photos and dream catchers, keep
your teddy bears and childhood books and postcards, because your room reflects
who you are, and, as the environmental equivalent of a vacant facial
expression, there is nothing more dull than an empty space.
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